tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-15468646022736152782024-03-08T09:18:43.790-06:00Blogging Whilst ComputingTylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-315420698202349532010-06-05T06:19:00.005-05:002010-06-05T18:43:56.631-05:00Commander in a Chief's JerseyIf I were campaigning for president, I would talk a big game. I would list wildly optimistic goals as my main priorities. But in reality, I would only have one real goal: collecting as many free, personalized jerseys as possible.<div><br /></div><div>The president often meets with championship teams, but only those of major sports. In many of these meetings, the president is presented with a personalized uniform, usually carrying the number one. I would push this tradition to new heights by doing a photo-op with any team that is willing to give me a jersey with my name on it. </div><div><br /></div><div>Division II hockey champions? Come on down to Washington. Arena football league? Heck yes. Mathletes? Hit me up with one of those jackets. If you won, there is more than one of you, and you all dress the same, then I would like to exchange national recognition for a free jersey. My first act as president would probably be to create the Department of Championship Celebration, since I will be spending about as much time with whoever is coordinating these things as the Secretary of State.</div><div><br /></div><div>People around the country will be wondering, "What is this idiot doing? He's meeting with a different team like every other day! There's no way he'll be elected again wasting this much time! Plus, couldn't the president afford to buy these jerseys?" These people clearly do not have their priorities straight.</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-22382590071942838442010-05-10T12:52:00.002-05:002010-05-10T14:30:12.897-05:00Pet ProblemGrowing up on a farm has given me what I consider to be a healthy disliking of animals. If you want to own a pet, that is totally cool, but they are not for me. The way I see it, animals that aren't for eating only function as money-to-feces converters. You may say I'm missing the point of pets, but to that I say that this is America, and I can dislike anything I want, for whatever misguided reasons I choose.<div><br /></div><div>However, I have been forced to consider the possibility that I might marry a pet-lover. Since I have also considered that my future wife will obviously be very good looking, and that I am a sucker for a pretty face, I needed to discover some sort of compromise ahead of time. These are the conditions under which I will agree to buying a pet, and some notes on each:</div><div><br /></div><div><b>1. The pet will live outside, unless it is a fish.</b> Houses are for people. This is because animals are generally too stupid to understand such nuanced facts as, "I have a very important day tomorrow, so tonight would be an especially bad night to wake me up," and, "This person who is visiting our house is allergic to you, so please avoid him." In addition, pets make your house smell. If you have a pet in your house and disagree, that doesn't mean your pet doesn't smell, it means you are willfully ignorant of pet-smell. It's kind of like how every parent thinks their child is a great athlete. Fish are exempt from all of these rules. If my wife desperately wants to own a fish, she can skip the rest of the conditions and just get one, and is also much more boring than I have imagined her to be.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>2. Condition number one implies that we will be getting a dog. </b>In the cats vs. dogs debate, I invariably choose animal control services, but dogs have the advantage in this scenario. I've noticed a trend that cats who live outside either A) spend all their time trying to get inside, or B) are not really your pet so much as they are the neighborhood cat that you have taken on the responsibility of feeding. I chalk this up to the fact that no one ever really has had control of their own cat.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>3. The dog will be a bulldog.</b> Bulldogs are the optimal combination of being small and not girly. Have you ever seen a bulldog jumping incessantly at anyone? I don't think they even have the energy required. Need to fence your dog in somewhere? It only needs to be three feet high. Also, I'm pretty sure I could run faster than one. I have no idea how this dog gives off the illusion of being tough. I guess it has good PR or something.</div><div><br /></div><div><b>4. The dog will be named Cat. </b>This will be hilarious, and will also test anyone's desire to be associated with it. Do you really want to explain why you are ordering dog tags that read "Cat"? Are you willing make a missing dog poster reading, "Answers to Cat" and include your phone number? Do you want to put our family dog in our Christmas photo enough to end the greetings with "...and Cat"? Do you want to run the risk of our kids not being completely sure on what dogs and cats are? Hopefully the answer to all of these questions is no.</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-80821385987309928502010-04-08T20:25:00.000-05:002010-04-08T20:25:39.104-05:00In The DarkNothing makes a person feel stupid quite like having the electricity turned off. This happened in my house today, which, as I predicted a sentence ago, led to me feeling stupid. It may have had a lasting, damaging effect on my writing skills, as I am not making sense even to myself now.<div><br /></div><div>Every entrance into a darkened room is a sad ordeal. Instinctively, I flip the light switch on, only to be surprised at its ineffectiveness. The second spent squeezing the answer to this puzzle out of my mind grapes is overshadowed by the lingering minutes of sanity-doubt. Seriously, I just tried to turn this light on like two minutes ago. <i>It</i> <i>doesn't work.</i><br /><div><br /></div><div>Since my bathroom is in the basement and has no windows, any cleaning ritual now carries the difficulty of a Survivor elimination challenge. Shaving without looking will make you feel fourteen again faster than nervously entering a dank locker room, or watching an actual Survivor elimination challenge. Brushing one's teeth should not be at all harder without lights, but it is. I didn't even take a shower today; I just put on a hat.</div><div><br /></div><div>Other than that, everything's cool as long as you don't mind living in the 1930's. Want to warm some food up? I guess you should try to start it on fire. Want to find out some information? Have fun at the library and/or in your ignorance. Want to log your misadventures in lacking electricity for others to enjoy? Sorry, it will only reach people within yelling distance. Want to call the cops on your incredibly loud neighbor? Sorry, you'll... wait I guess the phones still work. Want to send a squad car to the house of that guy rambling really loudly to no one? Okay, yeah, the cars work too. Want to get into a loud argument with the police about freedom of speech vs. disturbance of the peace, resulting in violence? Yeah I'm in jail now.</div></div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-59652586539609454262010-03-13T17:18:00.000-06:002010-03-13T17:19:07.216-06:00Pointless PonderingThese are worthless subjects on which I waste an inordinate amount of mental energy.<div><br /></div><div>-The annoyance of changing my email address and username on social networking sites if I were ever to become "Internet famous," since I use my full name in all of them.</div><div><br /></div><div>-Ways in which I could prove my lost iPod is in fact mine if it were in a lost and found. For some reason the person in my head who works at the lost and found is incredibly belligerent and I would give them details of incredibly obscure bands and play counts of songs that only the true owner of the iPod would know.</div><div><br /></div><div>-Money laundering schemes.</div><div><br /></div><div>-The fact that football should change its name to downball. Each team gets four downs to get another set of downs, a play ends when a player is down, and the most important aspect of the game is the touchdown. Everyone knows not much time is spent kicking the ball. Most of this time is spent trying to convince an imaginary member of this debate's opposition why it would be a great idea, how it would really clear things up between football and soccer, and how we, as a nation, could pull off this difficult change.</div><div><br /></div><div>-Excessively detailed hostage rescue scenarios, optimally executed by myself or a group, in varying public locales.</div><div><br /></div><div>-Which countries would be on which teams if World War III were to break out and why.</div><div><br /></div><div>-Finding a way of sending secret messages to my family in an Al-Qaeda video. They often make videos of people they have captured and force them to say they are being treated well. I need to come up with certain words, phrases, or body signals that could be interpreted by my family or friends to indicate my well-being. My family or friends could then inform the government of the truth in the situation.</div><div><br /></div><div>-How I would utilize the powers of Magneto from X-Men.</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-30213087968484872672010-03-10T12:58:00.002-06:002010-03-10T13:55:15.267-06:00Avoiding Lamesauce Insults<div>As a non-confrontational individual, I naturally avoid heated, argumentative situations. I honestly don't want to make other people feel bad, and also do not enjoy being pummeled. I do however, enjoy watching the quality delivery of a particularly deserved burn. Unfortunately, the execution of insults today lack intelligence or creativity. Two people in an argument pull their verbal arrows from the same small quiver. These phrases are meant to be shocking and hurtful, but most people I know have heard them hundreds of times by the time they graduate from junior high.</div><div><br /></div><div>No one recently called a son of a bird* has emotionally broken down while thinking, "Oh no, has my accuser rightfully bestowed this title upon my mother as a consequence of an unpleasant social interaction? In suggesting my mother lacks character, does my opponent imply I have been raised improperly and am thus a bad person? This shocking revelation of the deficiency of my moral fiber forces me to question every decision of my life so far, including the current point of contention. I concede defeat." The act of being called a piece of corn* has never produced this train of thought: "Am I truly now being compared to excrement? Another human being thinks I not only share physical characteristics with one of the most agreed-upon vile substances in existence, but also the personality of an inanimate object. Profound changes must be made in my life to redeem myself."</div><div><br /></div><div>If you decide to enter this verbal fray, a true insult should draw attention to flaws in his character, causing self-doubt, shame, or anger. A well timed, specific, and hurtful phrase can cause many different emotional responses, depending on the character of the insulted. Many will choose to avoid further conflict by ending the conversation, while the more violent types will choose to end the conversation by furthering the conflict in the form of a violent beat down. Through the strange combination of hastiness and cowardice, dolts respond with one of the meaningless, overused phrases mentioned earlier, revealing that they have been verbally bested.</div><div><br /></div><div>No one applies these cop-out phrases to themselves or feels hurt by them. Insecurity causes one to spew them at strangers, hoping to instill fear in those who could physically hurt, or distance from those who could emotionally damage. They also exist to express displeasure in the words or actions of an acquaintance in a way that make the speaker seem tough. Saying, "I'm very sensitive about the way I look and now feel hurt; please don't comment negatively on that subject in the future," takes more openness and courage than most people possess, so they instead decide to advance the intellectual discourse of our country with a courteous "Go enjoy* yourself."</div><div><br /></div><div>If an argument is unavoidable, think about what you really mean to express. Inform this doofus of his ignorance, ugliness, personality flaws, etc. in a way that he will remember the next day instead of dodging the issue with dime a dozen catchphrases. If you receive an intelligent retort, then we've got a prime argument on our hands.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">*This word has not been censored by The Man, but by the author, in accordance with my previous post regarding censorship.</span></div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-12905965901619995242010-03-06T22:22:00.001-06:002010-03-07T10:10:47.442-06:00Music Censorship, Part II<div>After those in power stopped caring about messages of cultural or governmental change in music, only the listening audience remained as censors of music. Immoral lyrics pushed radio stations to remove songs from the airwaves to avoid offending the sensibilities of the general public. Apparently incapable of writing about non-reproductive subjects, this potential ban led artists to create cryptic verses that only hint at the true meaning. The Beach Boys "Wouldn't It Be Nice" appears to be an innocent love song from a star-struck youngster. Take a closer look at a sample of the lyrics:</div><div><br /></div><div><i>Wouldn't it be nice if we were older</i></div><div><i>Then we wouldn't have to wait so long</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>You know it's gonna make it that much better</i></div><div><i>When we can say goodnight and stay together</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true</i></div><div><i>Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>You know it seems the more we talk about it</i></div><div><i>It only makes it worse to live without it</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>The actions in other portions only go as far as holding and kissing, but it appears to me as if these lyrics are entirely about a man wanting to copulate with an underage girl. An outright statement of this intention would upset parents everywhere. This artist chose to censor his adult and possibly criminal desire into a message acceptable to everyone, avoiding a negative public reaction. Concealing the song's deeper meaning welcomed kids, along with their innocence protectors, into the listening audience. A decade later, Foreigner's lyrics were so uniform in their content, the band may as well have changed their name to Fornicator. However, their less disguised allusions were still ambiguous enough to avoid public relations problems. This allowed adults old enough to say things like, "Young people these days..." to not object, and possibly even enjoy what they're barely hearing.</div><div><br /></div><div>As society got used to increasing vulgarity, topics of this nature started to be discussed openly in song. "What's Your Fantasy" by Ludacris basically lists dozens of ways in which he plans to give his lady friend the time. Lil' Wayne's "Lollipop" consists solely of the aforementioned rapper striving to get a Bill Janklow* from a female bar patron. Even if you ignore the parts where he says outright what he wants her to do, no one above the age of 12 thinks Lil' Wayne is going out of his way to encourage a woman to enjoy candy. Only specific vulgar words are censored, but no disguises are created for moral messages.</div><div><br /></div><div><div>I suspect that artists who take advantage of this continuing loosening of censorship will lose a large portion of their potential fan base, and will become creatively lazy. Why bother coming up with a clever and sneaky euphemism like "Baby, you can drive my car" if you can get away with a shocking and overt one like "I want to friend* you like an animal?" Why not skip euphemisms altogether and describe outrageous behavior in the clearest way possible? Many people formed assumptions about that aforementioned clever lyric of The Beatles' "Drive My Car," but listeners could understandably have interpreted the words literally. Many years later, the song's creator stated what he truly meant, but the phrase fit into the song's vehicular context so well that some people <i>still didn't believe him.</i> To those who can't relate in your intended message, this ambiguity enables them to give the song a meaning they can identify with or enjoy your tune as simple fun. Only people who don't understand English will get anything other than the intended meaning of "When Ludacris get to the bed then start baking*," and those innocent kids and grumpy old people I mentioned earlier won't ever even hear about it.</div><div><br /></div><div>In an ideal world, music would have a positive, clean message, and would need no euphemisms or censors. Artists who must communicate this kind of message have a choice. Say exactly what you mean and catch the brief ear of the the youth, or censor yourselves and grip the attention of the nation.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">*This word has been censored by The Man</span></span></div></div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-7489191576655037282010-03-06T22:21:00.000-06:002010-03-06T22:21:33.538-06:00Music Censorship, Part IThe act of sneaking messages through the censorship of oppressors has been popular in music for generations. Spreading a controversial message under the seemingly unimposing form of music keeps oppressors from catching on. Songs like "Follow The Drinking Gourd," according to legends, were sung among slaves hoping to escape to freedom. Its seemingly vague lines offered to those who remembered its words geographical directions to a starting point on the Underground Railroad. They learned the safest season to embark on their journey and which rivers to follow or cross. Forbidden from learning to read, repeated singing embedded life-saving details in determined minds. The consequences of such a song being decoded by authorities would be so disastrous, that everyone involved set new records for being outrageously hardcore. I speculate many more musical numbers concealed massive burns against slave owners.<div><br /></div><div>The abolition of slavery granted all the right to literacy, meaning dissidents could now spread ideas in writing. This took away music's usefulness for memorizing instructions, unless very small children are planning something devious. However, music still carried the burden of publicly spreading a message of change that newspaper or book publishers shied away from. Folk group The Weavers braved the Red Scare of the 1950's, trying to improve worker's rights through music. Even after diluting their political message to appeal to a wider audience, the FBI claimed they adhered to communist beliefs. The entertainment industry began blacklisting The Weavers and many other artists after scrutiny from The House Committee on Un-American Activities. Termination of their record contract and removal of their songs from radio play proved The Man still worried enough about the influence of music to censor it.</div><div><br /></div><div>After the country came down from the bad trip that was McCarthyism, artists were finally free to speak their minds on subjects of political or cultural change. This of course leads us to the whiny, dirty hippy era of music, which I am gracefully skipping over on my way to gangster rap. NWA announced their hatred for cops and accusations of prejudice against the justice system with their hit single, "Hug* tha Police." Deciphering their top-secret message to listeners must have been difficult for those in power, with such ambiguous wordplay as, "I'm a sniper with a doozy* of a scope, taking out a cop or two." Things like this are generally frowned upon, so the government was understandably upset. However, the retribution only consisted of stern letters from the U.S. Secret Service and the FBI, which are probably framed with pride next to NWA's gold albums. Removal from a few concert venues and a short ban from Australian radio provided more publicity than financial harm. Despite the controversial and threatening statements, the group was never in any danger. The Man's interest in censoring messages that could damage him faded.</div><div><br /></div><div>The invention of the Internet allows any and all contentious directives to be spread easily throughout the nation in secrecy. This has caused The Man's concern for scathing music lyrics to die completely. Even with messages of enjoyment in illegal activities, the oppressor of free thought, whoever you consider him to be, doesn't care anymore. Reggae artist Sean Paul seems to exclusively express his love of marijuana with such hits as "Ever Blazin," "We Be Burnin'," and in a new level of blatancy, "Legalize It." No one cares, and The Man probably hasn't noticed. At this point, a detailed, step-by-step single entitled "How To Overthrow The U.S. Government," could be released without consequence.</div><div><div><br /></div><div>This once dangerously awesome theme in music has devolved to Green Day beating the dead horse of the Bush administration's popularity to increase their sales. Musicians no longer fight The Man, because The Man has exited the ring. I'm glad we are all literate and don't have an imposing government, but using music to secretly spread information concerning an uprising is infinitely cooler and more meaningful than political debate with instruments. Anyone who won't pay attention to a message of change unless it has a cool beat behind it isn't in any kind of mental shape to be voting anyway.</div><div><br /></div><div>Since the voice of the oppressed no longer requires the mask of music to hide behind, protest music is dead. If you have a message to spread, ditch that mask and just write the message on your face. <i>That </i>would get people's attention.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">*This word has been censored by The Man</span></div></div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-78184755132677824942010-03-01T13:52:00.005-06:002010-03-02T11:27:17.157-06:00Doing Puns Write<div>To incorporate puns into your blog, follow these instructions and they will be out of site!</div><div><br /></div><div>1. If you believe puns to be a childish or low form of humor, write them off completely and move on, but not to step number two.</div><div><br /></div><div>2. Avoid the obvious. A post claiming the newest zombie movie "totally bites" usually fails to go viral. Only those who want for brains could crave a joke this dead.</div><div><br /></div><div>3. No writer makes note of other jokes they've made, so why give puns referential treatment? Tacking the phrase "no pun intended" onto the end is nonsense, since an unintentional pun is actually a malapropism. This outwrite attempt to draw attention to an author's own cleverness should be punished. Those who enjoy puns will appreciate them more if they find them on their own, and pun haters will prefer never to have noticed them.</div><div><br /></div><div>4. Puns need no apology. When a writer has to state their inability to resist after their joke in parentheses, this fool clearly didn't follow my first three steps of using puns wisely. If the readers don't like your quality wordplay, it's their loss. Don't pander to your audience too much. Fitting a pun into this step is proving to be difficult.</div><div><br /></div><div>5. Have pun with it! Now there's a quality pun right there. Wait, you didn't like it? Sorry about that; must redeem myself... uh... puns are a worldwide... punomenon? That one was good, right? No? That might not even count as a pun? Surely you can't be serious. No, I'm not calling you Shirley (I couldn't help myself; that one's a classic). Alright, this has become a disaster, so just forget it. Puns are for hacks anyway.</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-24136530639289893692010-02-18T16:45:00.006-06:002010-06-01T18:22:51.446-05:00A Swell Blog Post<div>"Oh, I'm feeling just dandy."</div><div><br /></div><div>No matter the situation, this phrase always contains the same sentiment. A similar rule seems to apply to any phrase containing the word "swell." Despite their utility as positive descriptors, their only utterances overflow with sarcasm. As the days of these words' popular usages fades further into the past, people who do not understand sarcasm might become incredibly confused; the fact that no method exists to portray sarcasm on the internet or in a text message will only exacerbate the problem.</div><div><br /></div><div>"It's a balmy four degrees outside!"</div><div><br /></div><div>Despite making this joke regularly, I actually had to look up the definition of the word "balmy." Since I've only heard it used with thick sarcasm on frigid days, it could, when used seriously, define any quality other than coldness. For all I knew, anything from just above freezing to the surface of the Sun could be accurately described as balmy.</div><div><br /></div><div>Again, imagine those incapable of understanding sarcasm. Ignorance of the exact meanings of these words doesn't matter to me, because I never use them genuinely. Sarcasm-impaired individuals can <i>only</i> interpret and use words genuinely. If they insert these words into their vocabularies without the proper sarcastic tone, which they would see no reason not to do, they will sound like lunatics. Remember to read these with complete sincerity.</div><div><br /></div><div>"I felt really swell this morning so I decided to call in sick."</div><div><br /></div><div>"The track meet has been cancelled due to balminess."</div><div><br /></div><div>"My relationship with my wife has been really dandy lately. We're getting a divorce. "</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-37893890889676226492010-02-17T12:39:00.007-06:002010-02-17T19:55:04.389-06:00Teens Became A Fan Of<div>-Taking Naps!</div><div>-Weekends</div><div>-teachers who let u text in class</div><div>-When that special person writes on your wall</div><div>-I HATE IT WHEN UR PARENTS RUIN EVRYTHING</div><div>-Exchanging money for goods and services</div><div>-Can This Rock Get More Fans Than Lady Gaga?</div><div>-Knife Fights</div><div>-Archie Comics, but only when he's with Veronica</div><div>-My social skills r being replaced w/ txting skills</div><div>-Working in Data Entry</div><div>-I want less bad things to happen and more good things</div><div>-Lehman Brothers Holdings, Inc.</div><div>-Maybe if I become a fan of the same thing as you I will be noticed</div><div>-puppies!</div><div>-Isn't it about time that rabbit got some Trix?</div><div>-Democratic Communism</div><div>-Does this really count as social interaction?</div><div>-All Of The Things I'm A Fan Of On Facebook</div><div>-everyone please look how clever i am</div><div>-This fan page says nothing about me except that I will become a fan of anything that I am not morally against</div><div>-pancakes</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-30777778690821744452010-01-30T15:20:00.003-06:002010-10-11T02:14:01.581-05:00WWHD?This may be an unpopular opinion, but I wish Hitler were still around. I don't mean as a dictator or anything, just rotting in jail somewhere. Forget the fact that he would have died of old age years ago. Imagine with me the public reaction to his new actions and statements. No individual has been remembered as purely evil to the degree of Hitler, but even horrible people need a favorite kind of pizza. <div><br /></div><div>He had to have at least a few opinions not yet affected by his hatred of Jewish people. Who would he have rooted for in the Cold War? What would be his favorite baseball team? Would he prefer Clint Eastwood or John Wayne? Hitler actually used go on hour-long rants, setting the record straight on anything from opera to architecture to cars. He would have enough free time in prison to weigh in on <i>everything</i>. If Hitler said he loved using Mac computers, would their stock drop, or would it be more like free advertising? Would rebellious kids listen to the same music as Hitler for attention? </div><div><br /></div><div>At some point, someone would use Hitler's opinion in advertising. No modern politician could resist mentioning his glowing review of an opponent. For the first couple of times, people would be outraged, claiming that irresponsible use of Hitler would lessen the importance of what we learned from World War II. We would all get used to it though. Learning something like the presumed devil-incarnate's favorite chick flick can't be shocking forever. His influence would become a precious resource to those who want to change your mind for their own benefit. It would completely run out when we all have at least one shared opinion with Hitler.</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-79450126189812863452010-01-25T15:45:00.004-06:002010-01-25T19:16:32.878-06:00The Pope, SeriouslyDoes anyone else find the Catholic pope hilarious?<div><br /></div><div>Part of it is obviously that he looks goofy. He's got the robes, and the tall hat, and he's always an old dude. He rides around in the back of some kind of parade car, but with a bulletproof encasing. This vehicle, and I am not joking here, is officially called the Popemobile. Even more hilarious is its Italian name, the Papamobile. <i>The pope only wears </i><i>red shoes. </i>Can you imagine if any other human declared that, for the remainder of his life, he would only wear red, velvet shoes when he is indoors?</div><div><br /></div><div>I think what makes all of these things truly hilarious instead of just weird is that the pope is completely serious about them. Irony has so completely invaded our culture that "smart" people can only get away with liking very critically acclaimed things, or laughably critically despised things. So-bad-it's-great things can apparently be enjoyed with cool detachment and critical immunity. Here are examples of a matter of opinion, and the critical responses I would expect:</div><div><br /></div><div>My favorite actor is Daniel Day-Lewis. "That's a good call. He's been in a lot of great movies and won a couple of Oscars."</div><div><br /></div><div>My favorite actor is Tom Hanks. "Way to be original. You haven't seen that many movies, have you?"</div><div><br /></div><div>My favorite actor is Keanu Reeves. "Is that a joke? Please don't talk to me anymore."</div><div><br /></div><div>My favorite actor is Steven Seagal. "Oh I get it. You're a funny guy."</div><div><br /></div><div>Somewhere along the way, genuine liking turns into assumed ironic liking. It happens right around the time when you can't believe that the person is serious. None of this can apply to the things the pope does. He has basically dedicated his entire life to becoming and being the pope. Your favorite actor is Steven Seagal? Hilarious. You are the president of the Steven Seagal Fan Club? Weird. Taking the position of Steven Seagal's unpaid personal assistant solely for its proximity to Steven Seagal? Hilarious, but in a much weirder way.</div><div><br /></div><div>If the pope wanted to, he could stop the tall hat thing today. His word is law. He could just say, "From this day forth, no more pope hats," and he would never have to wear one again. Pope John Paul II stopped the red shoes thing, and Pope Benedict started it up again. He's not even going on only precedent at this point. Brown shoes were passed to him, and he decided to, on a completely official and permanent basis, switch back to red. That means he <i>genuinely likes red velvet shoes. </i>I cannot stress enough how absurd this is.</div><div><br /></div><div>When they decided to give the pope a special vehicle to drive around, someone, somewhere, decided to start calling it the Papamobile. While suggesting it, this person <i>did not smile.</i></div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-74136769485287194802009-12-21T18:23:00.004-06:002010-06-01T18:25:55.045-05:00Christmas Is Reverse MonopolyAllow me to explain.<div><br /></div><div>You may interpret that title to compare Christmas to the opposite of the game <i>Monopoly</i>. Instead of buying pieces of property to force other people to give you their money or property, everyone gives away pieces of property to force others to feel socially pressured into giving back either money or property. Instead of one person winning and everyone else losing in a long, drawn out deliberations, everyone pretty much breaks even in a long, drawn out mad rush.</div><div><br /></div><div>Unfortunately all of that is nonsense. You should be ashamed of yourself if you agreed with any of that poor analogy.</div><div><br /></div><div>No, I'm talking about real monopolies, like if one guy owned all the shoe stores in the world. He decides to raise the price of shoes to $1000 a pair, and what are you going to do about it? HE'S GOT ALL THE SHOES. Another example is Parker Brothers' monopoly over monopoly-based board games (<i>Decreasing the Number of Competitors to Increase Market Power </i>will hopefully turn a profit soon).</div><div><br /></div><div>Christmas is basically the reverse of that. I don't mean high levels of competition are saving everyone money. It's still a monopoly, we're just doing it to ourselves. We all plan, as a group, to all buy shoes at the same time, so that one guy doesn't even need to own all the shoe stores to charge us $1000 a pair. He just does it because we all need to buy shoes RIGHT NOW, and what are we going to do about it?</div><div><br /></div><div>Seriously, I want to know. We've got to come up with a plan.</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-91310912640896065112009-09-25T19:18:00.002-05:002009-09-25T19:52:49.710-05:00Teen EmbarrassmentAfter years of research, I have uncovered the reason behind the outrageous levels of embarrassment in today's teens, and the outrageous levels of enjoyment parents seem to get from inflicting it. <div><br /></div><div>When children reach a certain age, they become aware of the concept of coolness. Their parents, however, had no other choice but to spend the last dozen or so years learning how not to care about it. They will be spending a huge amount of time and be heavily associated with someone who:</div><div><br /></div><div>1. Must be introduced to everyone.</div><div>2. You are legally required to carry everywhere.</div><div>3. Cannot speak any known languages.</div><div>4. Will eventually work his way up to eating with his hands.</div><div>5. Screams randomly and regularly.</div><div>6. Will soil himself in public <i>several hundred times.</i></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div>Imagine having this person as your college roommate.</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-58341819700947723932009-09-25T18:50:00.001-05:002009-09-25T19:17:33.295-05:00"Hey, I'm Aware Of That Too!"<div>I heavily suspect that it is impossible to post a Facebook status containing song lyrics and not receive a comment. </div><br /><div>Those who recognize the song apparently cannot be stopped from adding the next line, followed by a comment on the greatness of the song. I can't decide if this is done to feel connected to and accepted by the person who posted it, or to warn others that he isn't as creative as he's making himself out to be. You may be objecting, "Wait a minute, why would the second reason be necessary? Most lyrics posted in Facebook statuses are so painfully dull that penning them never could be viewed as positive!" I think you are forgetting that those who love horrible things tend to befriend each other. Also, the second reason for replying is way funnier, because it implies these people are rightfully disliked by their friends.</div><div><br /></div><div>"Hold on," you are probably interjecting, "what if I post lyrics to a song that only I know?" Well aren't you clever. Sorry to rain on your smug parade, but some clueless inquisitor will cluelessly inquire about its origin. It doesn't even need to rhyme or sound like a lyric or make sense. No, taking the word "is" out of any song by itself doesn't count as a song lyric. Man, you are insufferable today.</div><div><br /></div><div>The only scenario that remains is a person who no one wants to impress posting the lyrics to a song that everyone knows and dislikes. The only song that fits this description is obviously <i>Yellow Submarine.</i> When this finally happens, it will be safe to conclude that the creation of the Internet was a horrible lapse in judgment.<i> </i></div><div><br /></div><div>"Who is teaching all of these people how to read and write English?" Now that is a great question. Way to redeem yourself.</div>Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-57882627657014264372009-07-13T20:35:00.005-05:002009-07-27T10:22:41.226-05:00Read This For A Good TimeI appreciate those who vandalize bathroom stalls. Lightening up this hopefully eventless space with humor should be considered a public service to all. If I ever aquire a Wal-Mart or something, my employees will not paint over all graffiti, just the stuff they don't find humorous. It will encourage creativity in the defecating masses.<br /><br />That being said, there's one thing I don't understand about the defacement set. Why do public toilets make people want to overthrow the government? Even in newly constructed facilities, the initial work of art always seems to be that stupid capital 'A' with the circle around it. I could maybe see someone doing this in a public rest stop or a bathroom in a library, since anarchists generally feel these shouldn't exist, but it's not like Taco Bell is getting federal bathroom funding. Even if this quarter-sized etching is located in its proper location, that is reaching previously unheard of levels in lazy protesting. I mean I've heard of people having epiphanies on the throne, but I can't imagine any of them containing this thought: "You make an excellent point, anonymous criminal. We <em>should</em> change our system of government!"Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-16646106736574965672009-07-11T11:40:00.003-05:002009-07-11T13:03:10.394-05:00Cowboy RebelI cannot in good concience suggest that you enter the state of Wyoming. If you do, be sure to check out the bumper stickers. Some force drives these residents to hate all who dwell in the 49 more populous states, and to display this feeling on the backs of their mudhole-to-mudhole transports. This provides an excellent opportunity to observe the cowboy rebel archetype in the wild without actually having to talk to them. Placing a dead elk in the back of your pickup may seem like a way to blend in, but you will be forced to talk to ALL of them. Who knew such awkward people could be so friendly?<br /><br />Cowboy rebels are a confusing people, probably because they haven't thought rebellion through enough. First off, anyone who tries to fight The Man only does so because they failed at becoming The Man, so they're all losers right off the bat. Secondly, who do they think they're rebelling against? It's clearly not their parents, since they listen to the same music, dress the same, talk the same, and attempt to hold the same jobs as every generation that came before them. However, they could be making these choices to be part of the ranching culture that is so pervasive in the media today. A lot of their angst seems to be directed towards the government, but they are doing a horrible job of rebelling against them, although I may be underestimating the effectiveness of whining and then complying. If they were refusing to pay their taxes or at least actively protesting it would be a different story, but their form of rebellion seems to consist solely of doing really dumb things in a cocky manner.<br /><br />Here are a few examples of cowboy rebellion followed by a statement they might make towards the group they are rebelling against. See if you can fill in the blanks without wanting to fill all cowboy boots with snakes!<br /><br />1. I'm going to cover my truck, the brand name of which I am incredibly loyal to and which I bought with my own money, with mud! Take that, ________!<br />2. Let's spend our free time shooting animals that are a nuisance to everyone and completely legal to kill, then cover our car with the carcasses! In your face, ________! (Note: PETA is not a viable option since no PETA members live in Wyoming, and those who do this never leave their hometown.)<br />3. Hey guys! Let's watch and buy the merchandise of NASCAR, which is the only sport I'm aware of that covers its athletes and products in advertisements! That'll show _______!<br />4. I can't wait to see my idols get the crap kicked out of them by the animal they are attempting to show mastery over at the rodeo! Your move, ______!<br />5. Did you hear the one about the member of a racial group I've never had real-world contact with? What's that? You already did because they're all essentially the same? Well I'm going to tell it anyway, because a lesson needs to be taught to ________.<br /><br />When I started this list, I thought it would be funny because there were no logical answers. I now see that it is as funny as it is horrible because they all have the same answer: Charles Darwin.Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-20505955827351525342009-06-07T20:42:00.006-05:002009-06-08T00:43:16.381-05:00The UnTwitterThe following may not apply to all Twitter users, so if it offends you, feel free to tweet about it.<br /><br />Twitter, and I guess blogs of any length, seem to be based entirely around the feeling that your actions count more if other people are made aware of their occurance. This desire to force everyone to be aware of how fun you are drives a person to take the exact same arm-length picture with everyone they know at any location and post them on Facebook. These pictures to me scream, "Hey everyone! Look at how many friends I have at this exclusive event! Envy me!" For the benefit of the reader, I have refrained from purposefully misspelling every word and capitalizing every other letter in the preceding statement. Twitter enables the declaration of a new favorite food to those who could only care if the food was illegal, while giving the impression that they hang on the poster's every word. If you don't believe me, note that those who subscribe to your posts are called your "followers." Imagine how crazy you would look if you described any other group of people by that title.<br /><br />The downside lies in the fact that you are not a celebrity. Not that many people care about what you have to say, and most of them won't be subscribing to your posts. Spencer Pratt, the man who I have determined to be the only being acceptible to murder in any social setting, will always beat you. This may leave you either resigned to pathetic defeat, or starting all conversations with a list of recent parties graced by your presence.<br /><br />I have discovered what may be a solution, which I call the UnTwitter. Step one: do something new and fun, with friends if you have them. Explore an abandoned house, take a road trip to a strange town, cut down a tree and ride it across the river, whatever. I don't care what it is, as long as it's fairly interesting and doesn't involve the injury or embarrassment of myself.<br /><br />Step two: make sure as few people as possible hear about this adventure. Don't put it in your Facebook status, take pictures of the event, or as the name implies, post it on Twitter. Treat the outing as if something unspeakable happened on it, like accidently taking part in a Klan rally, or the events of the movie <em>Deliverance</em>. Everytime someone asks you what's new, or what you've been up to, this one action will leap into your mind. You will wonder if they somehow discovered your secret, except instead of sweating uncontrollably and possibly weeping (you'll know why if you've seen <em>Deliverance)</em>, you will list all but the most interesting thing you did this week. You will be completely free of trying to convince anyone how interesting you are. If they eventually do find out about it, you will seem that much cooler by not feeling the need to sing the praises of your wonderful life to everyone you know.Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-5428105438103779662009-05-20T15:35:00.004-05:002009-05-20T15:42:27.542-05:00Not A MovieJason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer clearly make terrible movies. If you need someone to tell you why <em>Meet the Spartans</em> and <em>Disaster Movie</em> are unwatchable, you probably cannot read the words in front of you. Nothing can be added to their abysmal reputation. I would say that we should put out a hit for them, but they fill the useful role of pointing out who among us should be social outcasts.<br /><br />The only thing that can be credited to them is that they cram events onto their Frankenstein-esque creations very quickly. <em>Meet the Spartans</em>, released on January 25, 2008, contained a reenactment of Britney Spear's infamous dance in the 2007 MTV Video Awards. I'm aware that applying math to any aspect of Friedberg and Seltzer movies means I'm putting more thought into it than they ever did, but that is only 138 days to realize the cultural significance of the event, write it into the script, finish shooting and production, vomit on all of the film, and distribute the movie. How do they guess whether or not something will remain relevant by the time the DVDs are sold? This of course assuming they can even recall their involvement the project by then.<br /><br />They move just as quckly in mocking movies. Creatively murdering a scene from a theatrical preview by poorly repeating a memorable line is followed by literally murdering the character involved by dropping a cow on them. It's only a matter of time until they reference a movie which has its release date moved repeatedly, until it is released months after its parody. Hopefully this would reveal to the horrible movie loving world that Friedberg and Seltzer should be avoided, but I wouldn't hold my breath for it.Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-46453290430457455772009-05-14T12:27:00.004-05:002010-01-04T15:54:59.143-06:00Intelligence, YoI just read an article on a psychology blog entitled "7 Reasons Leaders Fail." Although I expected it to be about political leadership, its business management theme made for an interesting read. At the end it asked what the readers thought about the subject. After reading a few eloquent complaints about bosses which were probably made on company time, I came across this gem: "Yo, management is not equal to leadership."<br /><br />I can't imagine such a concise statement being more conflicted in its intelligence. Somehow that single word completely negates the astute observation made after it. Why is someone who starts sentences this way reading a psychology blog? Did he think it would catch the reader's attention, as yelling the same word across a crowded room might catch a friend's ear? Could this be an intelligent person who has been hanging around Xzibit all week? Would Xzibit lose his street cred if he made grammatically correct blog comments?<br /><br />In the unlikely scenario that this poster is not Xzibit, I'm going to assume this was some new strategy for trolling the intelligentsia.Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-69913647633011703202009-05-13T19:22:00.004-05:002009-05-14T13:22:40.511-05:00Save The Polar Bears?One of the reasons stated for putting a stop to global warming is the future of the polar bear. If warming trends continue, their ice habitat could be destroyed. This beautiful species could be gone forever. The problem that lies before us cannot be ignored. I have prepared the solution.<br /><br />Here's how to stop feeling guilty about killing polar bears.<br /><br />When was the last time one of these half-ton behemoths did anything for you? All they do is growl and slide down hills of snow and steal our Coca-Cola in the winter time. Remind yourself that the activity they mostly need the ice for, killing seals, would cause most humans to be drenched in red paint by a hippie. I'm not going to argue against paint throwing here, since seals are adorable and I would probably enjoy it, but I think we need to apply some consistency to the situation. Along with cuteness, seals also beat polar bears in the not-willing-or-able-to-eat-me category. It's safe to say that if there were 6 billion polar bears and 25,000 humans, not only would the bears not bother saving our habitat, they would devour all of us.<br /><br />In ten minutes of reading Wikipedia, I have discovered that the IUCN thinks global warming will kill all of the polar bears in the next 100 years. Polar bears have killed 5 humans in the last 100 years. If we work with the number of polar bears and humans currently alive, that's one human kill per 5,000 bears, and one bear kill per 240,000 humans.<br /><br />Conclusion: they're asking for it. Not only did I use Wikipedia, I also used math, so you can be sure of my scientific accuracy.Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-59104494081122993482009-05-11T14:40:00.004-05:002010-01-30T19:03:11.111-06:00Horrible Facebook GroupsWhat purpose can Facebook groups serve? In some cases, they inform members with similar interests of upcoming events. In others, fans discuss a shared favorite TV show or movie. Most groups that I join are expressions of my interests to whoever visits my Facebook profile. For example, "Implementation of Wu-Tang Clan in Classrooms" informs my friends that I think using tax dollars to expose children to morally questionable music would be awesome. People who take life too seriously and also don't like real-world results join protest groups. Apparently, another popular kind of group exists for the sole purpose of annoying anyone who thinks about them for more than ten seconds.<br /><br />Almost 2 million people have found reason to join the group "If you remember this you grew up in the '90s." What exchange could even take place between you and a friend who has joined the group? "Hey, this is awesome! I didn't think one of my other friends would recognize one of the at least two hundred cultural references listed here!"<br /><br />2.7 million Facebookies and Facebookettes (this is how Shaq refers to us) have decided to join the group "Let's set and break a Guiness Record!!!! Approved by guinnessworldrecords.c." Without even reading its description, I know not to expect much. Not only did the creator of this group manage to spell "Guinness" two different ways in ten words, he decided that the last two letters of ".com" were a worthy sacrifice to the character limit for more exclamation points. What really puts this group over the demented edge is that it's nowhere close to the largest group on Facebook. Please everyone, if you want to join a group of this kind, at least pick one of the humorous versions with eight pathetic members.<br /><br />The groups "I Will Go Slightly Out of My Way To Step On That Crunchy-Looking Leaf" and "I FLIP MY PILLOW OVER TO GET TO THE COLD SIDE" represent a class of groups that are met with the response, "Oh man, that is so totally me," instead of the more appropriate, "The youth of America have reached a new low." I can't imagine there is much conversation to be had about leaf crunching, so people must be joining this group to inform others about some aspect of their personality, if only that they are clever. Maybe that would be true if you made the group, but I think all the cleverness has been sucked dry by the 300,000 people that joined before you. Fortunately, the group "I bet I can find 100,000 people who like to breathe oxygen" has been made to mock these groups that might as well be named "Humans who are currently alive."Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-70304290715587315692009-05-06T21:05:00.009-05:002010-01-04T15:53:54.111-06:00Ultimate IronyIrony: an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.<br /><br />Modern hipsters' use of irony has caught my interest. Partially because they are willing to wear such ridiculous looking things to be accepted by others, which makes them just like every other social group. Mostly though, it is because I think they are doing it completely wrong. They succeed up until the very end of the previous definition, the expectation. If you expect irony to happen, the only ironic result would be not-irony.<br /><br />The event mentioned above may be the decision to attend a party in a sweater Mister Rogers would consider beating you up for wearing. The former sweater-wearer has driven away his loved ones with incessant declarations that their opinions suck, leaving only other hipsters and himself to care. This may seem a little harsh, but I can make all hipsters forget what I was just saying with the following statement: The newest Shins album is the best yet. I don't actually think that, but they're not even paying attention anymore. The only expectations for this unusual wardrobe choice come from those who think this sweater's complete lack of style will be considered positive by those who love irony. People who see him walking down the street don't expect him to look like an idiot, they just observe him clearly looking like an idiot. No one witnessing this doofus thinks to themselves, "I bet this kid is going to be a social outcast at wherever he is headed." They just note his status as a social outcast exactly where he is now, which they've totally pegged. The only possibility of irony lies in this hipster's choice of apparel causing his hipster friends to think less of him. This is exactly what a sweater of this style deserves.<br /><br />While discussing this subject, my younger brother and I discovered the ultimate level of irony. A man walks down the street wearing a pair of bowling shoes. A group of hipsters, assuming the bowling shoes are worn ironically, approach the man. What follows is an hour-long conversation about the intricacies of bowling. The man was sporting the shoes only so someone would ask him about his favorite pastime, and follows the group like a lost puppy. An event that the hipsters expected to result in humor contrarily ended only in sadness.Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-54931477230998781832009-05-06T20:27:00.011-05:002010-01-30T19:03:53.593-06:00Pro-nuhn-see-ey-shunWhat is the name of that country we've been at war in for a while? Knowing the answer pales in comparison to saying it correctly.<br /><br />Until a few years ago, most would respond with I-rack. Once it had to be discussed more often than Americans would prefer to dwell on any poor country, smart guys everywhere started telling us we were doing it wrong. "NO LONG I! NO RACK! E-ROCK ONLY! Final Destination." In the future, the old pronunciation will only be used in movies to show who is ignorant, much like Forrest Gump's "Vietnayum," or Larry the Cable Guy's words.<br /><br />If I were a TV journalist, I would buck all countries-between-Syria-and-Iran-pronunciation trends. The first syllable of the old version and the second syllable of the new would combine Voltron-style to produce the unbeatable powerhouse that is I-rock. Using the marvel that is journalistic self-obsession, my version will spread like wildfire. Enabling newscasters to tell viewers of their own greatness for a living, Iraq-themed stories would dominate all news shows.<br /><br />By the way, no one cares how you pronounce Afghanistan.Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1546864602273615278.post-69068027874443272372009-05-04T23:18:00.000-05:002009-05-05T17:10:27.983-05:004chanI would like to preface this with strong warnings against visiting the site, because it is a horrible place that will scar you forever. I hope to someday go back in time and warn myself against it.<br /><br />4chan is one of my favorite social groups to think about. It could be described as a morbid curiosity. The only factor that seems to connect the different aspects of it that blow my mind is anonymity.<br /><br />Users of 4chan can provide huge amounts of humor. Some of the most popular memes on the Internet (lolcats, Rickrolling, mudkips) have emerged from this community's process of slowly transforming a picture, character, or phrase into an amorphous joke. They combine hundreds of memes to form enough pictures and phrases that the community requires its own wiki to keep track of them all. At their best, they work like the worlds largest comedy writing team, but with no leaders or direction and only one goal: lulz. Anonymity separates it from most sites with user-generated content in that none of them get credit for any of it.<br /><br />It doesn't take long for a popular YouTuber to steer the subject of the videos to themselves, or attempt to make money off of their newfound popularity. On 4chan, that is impossible. Since everyone clearly knows of this stipulation, it can be assumed that members put hours into creating a hilarious new picture only for the amusement of themselves and the other users. They take their precious new joke and share it freely with others, most of whom they know will repeat it poorly or act like they made it themselves. This level of humor altruism is magnefied due to each member's apparent hatred for the people they are giving it to.<br /><br />This is one of many fascinating attributes of 4chan that can't be seen anywhere else. All members of this community seem to despise every other person there. Complaints of the lack of original content fill the board to the point that posts containing the phrase "original content" can be safely ignored as written by trolls, or more likely, mental defectives. Threads seem to only contain such mind-numbing premises as, "Post ending in 00 get to tell me what to do," typing "Desu" repeatedly, and, "You laugh, you lose." The Engrish variation, "You raff, you ruse" only makes it seem funnier the first time.<br /><br />Assuming this problem is caused by noobs who just discovered these never-clever concepts, veteran users attempt to scare away the noobs by shocking them with the most disgusting and gory photos ever to be taken without literally invading a person with a camera. They try to deface the tough guy image of Anonymous by obsessing over a more than likely Asian girl with annoyingly cutesy mannerisms. In the end, they resign themselves to chasing off everyone by posting more of the stuff that they hate. It is tempting to assume that the entire site is made up of like-minded people angry at others for making posts that completely resemble their own. Not knowing a person's identity increases the difficulty of knowing their intentions. However, this vicious cycle most likely begins with purposefully unfunny rehashes being presented by veteran users who enjoy the misery of others. Classic.Tylerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03672345481208262508noreply@blogger.com4