Friday, September 25, 2009

Teen Embarrassment

After years of research, I have uncovered the reason behind the outrageous levels of embarrassment in today's teens, and the outrageous levels of enjoyment parents seem to get from inflicting it.

When children reach a certain age, they become aware of the concept of coolness. Their parents, however, had no other choice but to spend the last dozen or so years learning how not to care about it. They will be spending a huge amount of time and be heavily associated with someone who:

1. Must be introduced to everyone.
2. You are legally required to carry everywhere.
3. Cannot speak any known languages.
4. Will eventually work his way up to eating with his hands.
5. Screams randomly and regularly.
6. Will soil himself in public several hundred times.

Imagine having this person as your college roommate.

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