Pointless Pondering

These are worthless subjects on which I waste an inordinate amount of mental energy.

-The annoyance of changing my email address and username on social networking sites if I were ever to become "Internet famous," since I use my full name in all of them.

-Ways in which I could prove my lost iPod is in fact mine if it were in a lost and found. For some reason the person in my head who works at the lost and found is incredibly belligerent and I would give them details of incredibly obscure bands and play counts of songs that only the true owner of the iPod would know.

-Money laundering schemes.

-The fact that football should change its name to downball. Each team gets four downs to get another set of downs, a play ends when a player is down, and the most important aspect of the game is the touchdown. Everyone knows not much time is spent kicking the ball. Most of this time is spent trying to convince an imaginary member of this debate's opposition why it would be a great idea, how it would really clear things up between football and soccer, and how we, as a nation, could pull off this difficult change.

-Excessively detailed hostage rescue scenarios, optimally executed by myself or a group, in varying public locales.

-Which countries would be on which teams if World War III were to break out and why.

-Finding a way of sending secret messages to my family in an Al-Qaeda video. They often make videos of people they have captured and force them to say they are being treated well. I need to come up with certain words, phrases, or body signals that could be interpreted by my family or friends to indicate my well-being. My family or friends could then inform the government of the truth in the situation.

-How I would utilize the powers of Magneto from X-Men.