Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Ultimate Irony

Irony: an outcome of events contrary to what was, or might have been, expected.

Modern hipsters' use of irony has caught my interest. Partially because they are willing to wear such ridiculous looking things to be accepted by others, which makes them just like every other social group. Mostly though, it is because I think they are doing it completely wrong. They succeed up until the very end of the previous definition, the expectation. If you expect irony to happen, the only ironic result would be not-irony.

The event mentioned above may be the decision to attend a party in a sweater Mister Rogers would consider beating you up for wearing. The former sweater-wearer has driven away his loved ones with incessant declarations that their opinions suck, leaving only other hipsters and himself to care. This may seem a little harsh, but I can make all hipsters forget what I was just saying with the following statement: The newest Shins album is the best yet. I don't actually think that, but they're not even paying attention anymore. The only expectations for this unusual wardrobe choice come from those who think this sweater's complete lack of style will be considered positive by those who love irony. People who see him walking down the street don't expect him to look like an idiot, they just observe him clearly looking like an idiot. No one witnessing this doofus thinks to themselves, "I bet this kid is going to be a social outcast at wherever he is headed." They just note his status as a social outcast exactly where he is now, which they've totally pegged. The only possibility of irony lies in this hipster's choice of apparel causing his hipster friends to think less of him. This is exactly what a sweater of this style deserves.

While discussing this subject, my younger brother and I discovered the ultimate level of irony. A man walks down the street wearing a pair of bowling shoes. A group of hipsters, assuming the bowling shoes are worn ironically, approach the man. What follows is an hour-long conversation about the intricacies of bowling. The man was sporting the shoes only so someone would ask him about his favorite pastime, and follows the group like a lost puppy. An event that the hipsters expected to result in humor contrarily ended only in sadness.

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